These are my thoughts after sitting in quiet meditation. I just allow the words to come without worrying about grammar, technique, or whether or not my words make sense. Sometimes the words come so fast that I can barely write them down.
October 12, 2024
Written in less than a minute after having a “good night” without the chronic pain.
It felt so good to feel good.
I had almost forgotten what it was like.
The freedom of not being bound by pain.
The joy of being relaxed, having fun, letting go.
Perhaps it was the letting go–
Could my pain be so dependent on mind?
Self-induced? Do I have the ability to heal?
I danced. I laughed. I maximized the goodness.
I didn’t want the feeling to end.
Lift me up. Raise me. Let me feel as if I’m walking on water.
When in fact, I was (am) soaking in joy. Gratitude. I was being free.
Free to be me.
And it felt so good to feel good.
*** same day ***
Welcome Home.
Welcome home. I missed you.
Joy, you are my friend.
Stay and teach me.
Show me the the ropes.
How do I be present and live fully in hope?
I am a butterfly – emerging – free.
I recognize the person. I see glimpses of me.
Stay for a while.
I had forgotten what it was like to be.
No longer a stranger – the child within.
Playing and laughing. You are my friend.
You went away for a while and
it’s so good to have you back.
Sit down for a while.
Tell me how you’ve been.
You have a lot to teach me.
Help me to look from within.
A tear is forming, but it’s a sign of relief.
I’m letting go of something.
Could it be grief?
I’ve missed you. I’m crying.
Tears of happiness cascade.
You’re no longer a stranger.
You no longer fade.
Welcome back. I’ve missed you.
Tell me how have you been?
Sit down, rest your feet.
There’s love for my long-lost friend.
September 28, 2024
It’s been a while since I’ve allowed my creativity to run freely. I felt stuck both physically and emotionally. Writing was a forced effort, and I didn’t seem to have the time or energy to cultivate it back into existence.
So here I am — back to getting back at it. Trying to write in hopes that the muse will take hold. I always said that writing is a muscle – especially with creative writing – and I need to work out those muscles once again.
Here I am – take me to the place where words flow. Ideas are generated.
I spend a lot of time admiring others – amazed at what they are able to create.
I need to get back to that place. A place where my writing was for me and not for a paycheck. A place where creativity emerged and often surprised me with its appearance.
Deep breath in. Hold it. Exhale – release all negativity, resistance, and blocks.
Here it comes. Let the creativity begin!
March 17, 2024
Keep your eyes on me and I will show you the way. I will build a protective wall that bounces away negativity. You will absorb only love and goodness. Stay strong and brilliant. Stay present and observant. Eyes upward. Light is all around. Seize each day with hope and optimism. Free your mind of fearful thoughts. . . Do not let others hold you back, rather be the example that shifts their belief systems. Show them that good can and is happening. Shine bright so that others can follow in your light. Your stepping out in fear, despite fear, is how they can push themselves as well. Radiate, shine, and let others benefit from your energy. The world is hurting – be not discouraged. Good will overcome. Love will prevail. We are the lightworkers in the world. Join and embrace the energy of hope. Look to the light always.
February 13, 2024
It’s been a while — I have still been doing my “Awe” journaling after meditating, but I have not included it here because a lot of it has been too personal.
—
Cast aside your doubts, your fears, and your perceived limitations. Today is the day that the healing begins. And your belief and the world you know will expand. No limitations, only a strong desire for change. Bust through and persevere–leaving limited thinking behind. Seize it now with belief and optimism. Limitations were built around negative thinking passed on to you–their view should not be your view. Listen to your voice and your calling. Be still in the silence. Be still and listen to my words, my directions despite what your mind wants to fall back on. Let me show you the way. Proceed with one foot in front of the other. Embrace the joy that is yours to have. Hear the joy in the little things. Feel the joy in the world around you. It is yours to have. Believe–set your eyes on me and believe. Shut out the noise that pulls you away from the goodness, love, joy, happiness, and self-acceptance that is yours to have. Be the light, shine on – push boundaries – move forward, and BELIEVE. Know you are the one that has the power to manifest. Feel my power – your power and know that you are loved. You are love. Be love.
July 10, 2023
Sometimes life doesn’t go as planned.
But, it is as planned; it’s just not yours.
Keep plodding along, keep believing.
The stuff that is in your way is there for a reason.
The master plan is guiding your direction.
Trust in its brilliance and magnificence.
June 18, 2023
Forgiveness
Forgive those who have disappointed you and let you down. Forgive those who have angered you and betrayed your trust. Forgiveness is freeing yourself of anger and hatred, bitterness and grief.
Forgiveness is what will move you forward. It is what will free you up. This also means forgiving yourself. Trust and believe – see the positive of what can be rather than of how you may be let down again. Feed the faith. Trust and believe. See all with goodness, believing the best in others–stop hiding behind negativity, fear, and scarcity. Free yourself from limiting beliefs in others. You need trust to move forward. Believing, seeing, and being the best.
The energy of fear is draining. Relinquish control and trust. See the good, the faithful, and the happy. Believe in a positive tomorrow. Joy is yours to come.
June 17, 2023
Stop looking in the other lane. It’s what comes to mind when I think about comparison.
The competitive swimmer pushing forward in a meet loses time and traction when looking to the side at the person in the next lane.
The person not taking risks is often limiting his actions based on what others are achieving.
The abundance of social media postings with filtered images and skewed lenses, portraying a life not realistic but detrimental to the confidence of so many.
Why is it that we allow everything and everyone around us to dictate what we can and cannot do?
With quiet meditation, I am surrendering to the light, blocking out the noise, the clutter, the resistance, and the illusions of others’ perfection. I am breathing in a new day. Letting go of my limiting beliefs with each exhale. I am blessed and grateful and keeping my focus on what I can achieve and have achieved. What I have been given.
Looking in the other lane extinguishes my energy. It makes me feel less. Unworthy, undeserving, and not enough. It makes me feel bad about myself. Comparison is a robber of so many things–faith, belief, happiness, gratitude, productivity, greatness.
But true joy – the thing I have been struggling to find my whole life – comes with a surrendering and appreciation of my surroundings. Listening to the rustling of the trees. The stillness. The peace. The letting go of limitations bound by the power of comparison. I am enough. You are enough. We are great, amazing, and powerful. With blinders on to distract from disbelief and with crystal glasses to see the brightness, I am moving forward and accepting the day. Grateful for the day. There is so much good to come.
June 7, 2023
(This entry was not as “Free” — I did go back and edit. The importance, however, is that it was the first writing that I was able to do after a long hiatus of not being able to write “bloggish” type of stuff. This opened the door to my ability to pick the pen back up.)
The Road to Now
NOW – I have been pondering that word a lot. Not just the word, but the whole concept of embracing the now. Living in the now. Finding joy in the moment – any and all moments.
I realized that as a goal-oriented person, I’ve lived my life chasing what might be, what could happen, life’s ifs, whens, and thens. My thinking always had me envisioning a future happiness that I needed to work towards. It would be then that I’d be able to fully relish life. This future promise kept me motivated. . . until I became disappointed and jaded rather than grateful and proud of what I had accomplished or experienced.
The last two years have been a series of reminders of the fragility of life. They’ve been part of the reason I’ve stopped writing, and the reason I’ve decided to write again now.
I am making a conscious effort to be present and grateful . . . and to soak in every moment. This involves an acknowledgment and acceptance of my feelings. Journaling (sometimes with pen and paper, sometimes with the clicking of a keyboard) is the conduit to allow my words and feelings to flow.
And with that said, I am writing. My focus this year is twofold: To (1) Just Write and (2) Embrace the Now.
I am learning what the latter really means. It’s definitely tough to do when life delivers gut-wrenching punches and anxiety is begging for attention. For me, as I begin this journey, I have found that the first step is GRATITUDE. When life gets really bad, it is so easy to focus on the challenges. Sometimes life’s hardships can be all-consuming. Sometimes self-imposed guilt can convince you that embracing the now is not an option.
But, hard as it may be during those moments, it is important to look around and see the good. There is always a flicker of light in the darkness. And when you focus on the light, it shines brighter. It is this energy that gives that spark power to shine.
Conversely, when you focus on the dark, you give those hardships power over you. I did this, and in doing so, lost my “spark” in the process. It is during those trying moments that you acknowledge them but do not allow them to overwhelm you. Instead, focus on the little moments of good, the simple moments – such as when your child gives you an unsolicited hug, when the person at work compliments you, or when the weather outside is perfectly warm and breezy. It could be as simple as saving $10 at the gas pump through reward points or when the person at the grocery store allows you to cut in front of them in line.
By focusing on those little nuggets of goodness, your perspective begins to shift. Things become lighter, gratitude becomes second nature, and abundance begins to flow. And you deserve to have that flow.
During those times when you feel as if you can’t breathe, close your eyes, exhale, and pray. For me, it’s a moment of surrender. I’ve had to let go of the fear by claiming my faith. I chose (and still remind myself to choose) faith over fear. Like the practice of falling backwards with someone standing behind to catch you (the trust fall), you need to trust that in life there is someone there to catch you. Whatever or whomever it is that’s the source of your faith (be it God, a higher power, or simply your friends), hold onto it, lean into it . . . and let go.
That’s when you’re in the moment. Trust that moment. Don’t worry about looking ahead or behind. Take a deep breath in, exhale, let go of fear, and breathe in faith.
Like I said, I am on a journey with the intention of embracing life, being truly present, and choosing joy. . . I am learning, leaning in, and grateful for the process.
BrightLightLiving 