Life does not come with a guide book. It is filled with choices and the need to make decisions. Should you take that new job offer? Is the person you’re dating really right for you? Should you move into that new house?
Don’t you wish someone could just TELL YOU EXACTLY what you were supposed to do with your life? Those darn choices are never sure things—what happens if you make the wrong decision? It could all go terribly wrong . . . right?
The good news is that most things can be fixed or changed. You be may be stumbling along doing things that later seem like a complete waste of time. You may be kicking yourself thinking: “I should have known better.” But trying things, experimenting, and assessing your results are all a part of life. Life is about learning. This learning is what LEADS you to the RIGHT PATH.
This blog for example. . . I had a vision for my blog and had to do a lot of reading, learning, and researching to get it up and running. I checked out other bloggers, struggled to understand the ins and outs of WordPress, activated social media, and took (still taking) a blogging course. One of the biggest challenges was figuring out how to structure the site. I needed to determine the categories, blog postings, and overall theme—who was my audience and what knowledge did I want to provide?
After a lot of mind-wrestling, observation, and careful planning, I created what I thought was a good site. There was just one thing: it never felt quite, quite right (sort of right, but not exactly). It might have been right for other bloggers, but it wasn’t right for ME.
Does it FIT YOU?
Years ago, I learned the hard way about things not fitting. After my then-boyfriend broke up with me, I was devastated. Of course I resorted to self-pity and the “what is wrong with me” whines. Fortunately, I had a good friend who gave me some sound advice. I can’t say that I liked it at the time—it was too logical for my liking—but I do remember it to this day. She said: “Nothing is wrong with you. You wanted what he couldn’t give you and vice-versa. It doesn’t make either of you wrong, just not a good fit.”
And that is the thing: sometimes we take job offers, stay in relationships, or make decisions that are not a good fit FOR US. They may be right for others, but not you.
ONLY YOU know what is best for you. The secret is LISTENING to your heart, your gut.
With my blog site, I had to STEP AWAY from it. I used my vacation to reflect in quiet. Vacation was the optimal time to detach myself from the craziness of life and really FEEL/LISTEN to my heart. I was able to ask myself, “What really motivates and excites me?”
And with clarity, I was able to ascertain that fiction writing was my love. Writing the sequel to my book (and other books later) is what brings me joy.
I am also INSPIRED by something else: THE CREATIVE PROCESS. It became clear to me that the creative process—looking at solutions, creating, inventing—is something that truly fascinates me. It became clear to me that I needed to incorporate that into my blog. I explain more about this creative process on my site (I hope that you will click here to learn more).
Yes, I made decisions.
Yes, I took action.
Yes, I learned things along the way.
Yes, I stopped to listen to my heart.
Yes, I changed directions
None of my efforts, however, were for naught.
It was this decision, this clarity that gave me a newfound release—I was stressing over the site way too much. Now however, it just feels right. Like a good fit.